


god knows we're worth it

by callistawolf



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Confessions, F/M, Season/Series 05, Secrets, Speculation, Temptation, mentions of Billy Malone, mentions of Billy/Felicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callistawolf/pseuds/callistawolf
Summary: Oliver is tempted and Felicity's secret is revealed. Can they come out stronger or will they buckle under the weight of everything against them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't quite spec fic, as I don't really expect this situation to occur, at least not the way I've written it. But it's a thought I had in the shower this morning and for those of you who write know, when you get a thought in the shower the best way to deal with it is to write it down.

_“You work very late hours, Mr. Queen_. _”_  

Susan Williams’ low voice was closer than he expected. He turned his head to find she’d moved to stand right next to him. In fact, he could feel the warmth of her breath on the skin of his neck as she swayed towards him subtly. Oliver swallowed. 

Star City was dark outside the windows of his City Hall office. He should have left by now. But there was some paperwork he’d wanted to finish up before heading to the bunker. And then Felicity had stopped by… 

She’d stopped by to catch him up on a search she’d been running related to their latest case and ask for the evening off of Team Arrow work. She didn’t need to ask, of course, she was as much a leader of the fledgeling team as he was. But it was a courtesy and Oliver understood it as such. She wouldn’t tell him why and he didn’t feel like he could (or should) pry. But he could easily tell she was hiding something from him. Felicity always wore herself on her sleeve and it was obvious when she hiding. Sometimes he let her, because he understood her need for space. But these last few weeks, she’d been more and more withdrawn and he was growing concerned. 

Because he cared about her. She was _Felicity_ and he would always care about her. Just because they’d broken up didn’t mean he stopped loving her. Or would ever stop loving her. And because of that, the way Susan Williams was very obviously coming on to him raised the hairs on the back of his neck and not in a good way. 

“The responsibilities of being the mayor never rest, Ms. Williams,” he told her, stepping back. 

Undeterred, she advanced. “But surely, there’s more to you than this office. Otherwise, that’s a fairly lonely life.” She pouted prettily and Oliver stared at her. 

Susan had caught him here in his office after Felicity had left. He’d just got done pouring himself a scotch, thoughts of Felicity and what she was trying to hide still swirling in his mind. He hadn’t been expecting the cutthroat reporter to slink into his office, but supposed it made some level of sense. He’d had a press conference earlier, discussing the appointment of Detective Malone to the ACU and she’d been there along with all the other reporters. But they’d all cleared out by now and he would have expected she had too. Except she’d lurked around. He’d wondered what she wanted, but with the way she was laying on the flirt pretty heavily right now, he thought he knew. 

“It is lonely,” he agreed quietly, taking another drink of his scotch, his thoughts on Felicity. 

“I can help you with that,” Susan purred and she trailed a hand up his arm, over where he had his shirtsleeves rolled up. 

For a moment, he considered it. He actually, honestly considered it. Perhaps sleeping with Susan would cause her to let up on her constant pressing reports on his performance as mayor. Maybe, by confirming her suspicions that he was still the same womanizing playboy everyone expected him to be, she would not try to find out how he was _really_ spending his nights. 

Before the Gambit, shoot, even back during that first year back, he wouldn’t have even had to think of it. Even the year after that, after losing Tommy, he would have taken Susan up on her offer. Oliver thought back to Isabel, how she’d flirted with him in that hotel bar in Russia and sympathized with his loneliness and offered him an escape from everything pressing in on him… But that had been a huge mistake, hadn’t it?

“Susan… Ms. Williams, I’m flattered but I really don’t think—“ 

She didn’t even seem to hear him as she moved closer, pressing her body against his and brushing her lips alongside his neck. Oliver swallowed again, wondering how he could get out of this without causing any major problems. 

“C’mon, Mr. Queen. I want to hear if the rumors are true,” she murmured, as one of her hands skated down the front of his trousers, grabbing him. Oliver grunted and pushed back, putting some much needed distance between them. 

“Ms. Williams! I assure you, I am not interested and this is highly inappropriate!” 

She gave him a look, an almost pitying expression. “You’re a young, handsome, influential man, Mr. Queen. Why wouldn’t you be interested?”

“I’m in love with someone,” he said, before he could even think twice about it. The truth of his words was a stab to his heart. “I’m only interested in her. I’m sorry.”

Susan William tsked as she picked up the purse she’d dropped onto his desk and settled it on her shoulder. “Are you talking about your ex-fiance? Felicity Smoak, right?”

Oliver didn’t like the way she said her name. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Susan seemed to know already anyhow. 

“I saw her leaving before I came in here. You’re still on good terms with her? That’s rare, for ex’s.”

He shifted his shoulders and drained the rest of his scotch. “She was my friend before she was my fiance. That hasn’t changed. Now, if you’re done, I have things to finish up here before I leave for the night…”

Susan made no move towards the doors. “And you… what? Have hope to patch things up with her? Make her fall in love with you again?”

“Ms. Williams,” he said, growing rapidly tired of this exchange. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

“I think it might be pretty hard to get back together with her, considering she’s already dating someone else.”

Oliver froze, unsure if he’d heard her right. He turned his head away, so she wouldn’t see the stricken expression on his face. But, like before, she already seemed to know. 

“Oh. Did she not tell you about that? So much for being such good friends…”

“I don’t know what you think you know,” he grit out. “But I think its time for you to leave.”

“I guess you didn’t know that her new boyfriend is Detective Malone either. Isn’t that interesting? The two of you have been working together, will be working together, and all this time he’s been screwing your ex-girlfriend.”

“Enough!” Oliver roared, spinning around. Susan looked a little taken aback by his anger. “Get out of here. Now.”

She recovered her surprise smoothly and shrugged mildly. “Just thought you should know. At least I care about the truth, right? Have a good night, Mr. Queen.” 

He heard the doors to his office open and close as she walked out but beyond that all he knew was the pounding in his head. Felicity was dating? She was with Detective Malone? Was that why she wanted to take the night off? Why hadn’t she _told_ him?

It hurt in a way he hadn’t expected from Felicity. And, at the same time, felt like something he shouldn’t have been surprised about. He knew she was keeping something from him. He’d known for weeks now. But he hadn’t pressed. He’d told himself it was because he didn’t want to damage the calm that existed between them these days. And maybe that was part of it. But he was realizing that part of it was he was afraid to find out what she was keeping from him. Maybe he had known, all along, and just didn’t want to admit it. 

He blew out a breath as he crossed back to his minibar and poured another glass of scotch. Tonight, he was going to nurse his wounds over this. He’d go to the bunker, work on some more training with the team. And tomorrow, he’d talk to Felicity. Because he wasn’t going to let her hide anymore. And he absolutely was _not_ going to give up on her. Not now, not ever. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan Williams drops a bomb and Oliver hurries to try to minimize the fallout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU to everyone for your response to this story! It's just a little thought I had... I have no idea if the show will ever do anything remotely like this and I rather doubt it, but I had fun imagining this out. 
> 
> If you all could refrain from venting anger towards the show in the comments, I'd super appreciate it. I am loving this season of Arrow and respect the writers and creators. I don't expect you all to, but I would appreciate that anger over the show be kept out of my comments. That'd be super awesome of you guys.

The next morning, Felicity sat down at the table in the loft with a mug of coffee and her laptop open to the local newspaper’s website. It was her morning ritual, how she shook the cobwebs out of her head before going about the day. Catch up on the news, get some caffeine in her system, and then face whatever the day had in store for her. 

Billy had wanted to stay over last night, after their date to the theater and dinner. She’d told him she wasn’t feeling up to it and suggested a rain check. She didn’t want to examine too much why she didn’t want him in her bed last night. And she certainly didn’t want to connect that disinterest to her visit with Oliver at his office the night before. 

She wasn’t doing so great with this whole “moving on” thing. Admittedly it was difficult when you still saw the guy you were trying to move on from every day. But lately, she didn’t even feel like she _wanted_ to anymore. Which led her to think that it wasn’t fair to Billy to keep stringing him along like this. Maybe it was time to admit defeat and break up with him. 

Groaning at the prospect, Felicity realized she was going to need a second mug of coffee to be able to handle this day. 

But before she got up, she clicked over to today’s headlines to see what was the latest. The biggest headline caught her attention and made her heart plummet through her chest and into her stomach. 

_MAYOR QUEEN CAUGHT GROPING REPORTER IN HIS CITY HALL OFFICE_

Beneath the headline was a picture, obviously caught on a long-range camera through the window of his office, of Oliver and a woman who’s face she couldn’t quite make out. It was hard to tell from the angle, but it looked like a passionate embrace, it looked like he had his hands on her. 

Felicity couldn’t even read the rest of the article. Suddenly, that second cup of coffee didn’t sound like such a great idea after all. In fact, she felt like she was going to be sick to her stomach. 

Her phone buzzed and Felicity picked it up off the table to read the incoming text message.  

_Did you see it?_

It was Oliver, of course. 

_Just did._

She literally didn’t know what else to say. 

_Don’t believe it, Felicity. It’s that Susan Williams. She set me up last night._

Felicity stared at her phone screen, her forehead creasing. She didn’t want to believe it, but that _picture_. 

She was still thinking of how to respond to that when her phone suddenly rang in her hand and she nearly dropped it. Oliver’s name and picture flashed up at her. She fought an eyeroll as she tapped the screen to answer. He never did like texting too much. 

“She came onto me in my office after you left. I turned her down. Next thing I know, this story shows up. I think she had her photographer buddy snap the picture on purpose,” he said. 

“Well, hello to you too,” she muttered.

“Felicity…”

What he said actually did make sense. Felicity felt the bands around her heart loosen. Oliver wouldn’t force himself on any woman. And while she hadn’t known him then, she didn’t think the Oliver before the island would have either. 

“Why would she do that?” she asked.

“I have no idea. She has it in for me, for Thea. I think it’s just wanting a hot story, the big scoop.”

Judging from the uproar Susan Williams had been causing in the last few weeks, Felicity didn’t find that hard to believe. She knew her first instinct about this woman had been the correct one. Still, her “spidey-sense” made her wonder if there was something more than just cutthroat journalism at play. 

“So you didn’t—?” She couldn’t even get the words out. The lump in her throat that had formed when she first read the headline swelled. 

“No, Felicity. I didn’t.” His voice was quiet. She wished she could see his expression. She wished she could take back that question. She had no right to ask it. He cleared his throat. “I think we should talk.”

“We are talking,” she replied automatically. 

“In person. At the bunker, maybe? You busy in an hour?”

Felicity chewed her lip. “I can be there. You want to battle plan how to deal with this Susan Williams monster?”

“That too, I suppose. But I wanted to talk to you about _you_.”

“Me?” Her heart sped up automatically. 

“Yes. You’ve been keeping things from me, Felicity.”

She swallowed. He said it like he knew exactly what she was keeping from him. 

“Oliver…”

“No judgement. I promise. I just want to talk.” He paused. “I’ll bring you coffee from your favorite place, just to show that I come in peace.”

The uneasy feeling inside her grew but she knew she couldn’t hide from him now. She hadn’t even realized she had been actively hiding from him until today, but she had. In true Oliver fashion, he found her out. Felicity wondered if she hadn’t expected this all along. She did, after all, know him better than anyone. And the same could be said about him knowing her. 

“Okay, I’ll meet you there in an hour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a third part. It's very cathartic. I will post that tomorrow. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity have a talk at the bunker and to get to the heart of the matter, finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really planning to write anything beyond that first part, at first. When I had that initial inspiration in the shower the other day, the headline reveal was going to be where the story ended, with Oliver reading it the next morning. But when I sat down and wrote this, it switched to Felicity's POV and then the whole Billy Malone thing became a big deal and I realized "crap, there's gonna have to be a third part". 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.

Oliver sat in one of the chairs off to the side of the raised dais where Felicity conducted her business. He was leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees while he fiddled with the cardboard coffee cup in his hands. Felicity’s coffee sat on the table off to the side, next to the chair she often curled up into when she wasn’t busy helming her computers. 

That article from Susan Williams was the last thing he’d expected to see gracing the front page of the paper when he’d arrived at City Hall a little over an hour ago. Thea had handed it to him, wordless, but her eyes dark and concerned. He could tell she didn’t want to believe it was true, but didn’t know what to think. 

He’d explained it to her, as quickly as he could and the relief on her face was evident. It hurt him a little that she’d even questioned it, even for a moment. That his own sister had wondered if he would do such a thing really bothered him. He would have to have a talk with her later. Oliver smiled a little as he sat back in the chair. Look at him, talking to the important women in his life instead of avoiding the issues. Maybe he was finally growing up after all. 

The elevator dinged, announcing Felicity’s arrival. A moment later, she stepped out, her heels clacking on the concrete floor and he looked over at her expectantly. She looked stunning, as always, in a professional dress and her customary heels. Her hair was swept back in a neat ponytail and her makeup was flawless. Only the pinched set of her lips told him that she was uneasy about all of this. 

Oliver stood up, grabbing her coffee off the table. She accepted it eagerly, taking a sip before even saying hello. He couldn’t fight the smile tugging at his lips. 

“Good coffee?” he asked when she finally sat down, still clutching the drink. He settled back into his seat and took a sip of his own. 

“The best,” she breathed, taking another sip. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Good morning.”  He watched her. She was fidgeting and having a hard time meeting his eyes. She was nervous. As much as what Susan told him twisted his gut, seeing Felicity so… off-kilter about what she probably suspected he knew made him feel bad for her. He hated that she felt she had to hide this. That’s what he wanted to talk to her about, most of all. 

“So… what is it you wanted to talk about?” she asked, her voice smooth but her body language giving her away. 

“Susan Williams informed me that you’ve been dating,” Oliver told her. 

Only then did Felicity’s eyes meet his. She was shocked, clearly, and the color bled out of her cheeks. “Oliver…” 

“She told me that you’ve been seeing Detective Malone.” Oliver cleared his throat again and shifted in his seat. But he kept his eyes on her. “Was she right?”

“Oliver,” she began, her voice quiet. She looked down at her hands, where they gripped the cup. The guilt was apparent in the stiff set of her shoulders. “I— I didn’t want you to find out like that.”

“I don’t think you wanted me to find out at all.”

Felicity sighed and set her coffee down. “No, I guess I didn’t.”

“Why?” he asked. “We’re friends, aren’t we? We tell each other everything. Why would you keep this from me?”  He wasn’t able to keep the hurt out of his voice and he had to swallow down the other accusations he felt brewing in his gut. 

“I don’t know, Oliver,” she replied, her voice thick. “I was afraid to. I didn’t want to hurt you and I was…”

“What, Felicity? What were you doing?”

She blew out a shuddering breath. “Hiding.”

He almost didn’t hear her. But he did, just barely, and her answer made his heart twist inside his chest.  “Why would you hide from me?”

“It wasn’t just you. I was hiding from… everything. From my guilt, my hurt, my pain… and you too, I suppose. Because I knew you would see and you would make me confront all of this. I didn’t want to. I wanted to pretend there was nothing wrong.”

Oliver sat back, feeling a little stunned. What on earth could have her spiraling like this and how hadn’t he noticed something was wrong before? But then, he recalled, that he _had_ noticed. He knew she was keeping something. He knew something was bothering her. The night he brought Rory on board the team… _Havenrock_.  Oliver’s gut twisted a little more. 

“Is this about Rory joining the team and what happened to Havenrock?”

She laughed a little, but it was a hollow, bitter noise. “I kill thousands of people that day, Oliver. Rory’s family. His whole town!”

“That wasn’t your fault,” he told her firmly. 

“That’s what Curtis keeps saying. It sure doesn’t feel that way. Not when I saw the accusation in Rory’s eyes when I told him I was responsible.”

Oliver sat forward and lifted a hand to reach out and touch her, but he held himself back. “Felicity, why wouldn’t you talk about this with me?”

“I don’t know, Oliver! I was afraid. I thought you’d think I was weak or a monster or that I needed to be _fixed_. That there was something wrong with me.”

Oliver’s heart went out to Felicity because he knew exactly what she meant, how she was feeling. He’d been in these shoes of hers more times than he wanted to admit. He’d felt these same feelings and he knew how hard it was to open up to someone. 

“And dating Detective Malone was part of how you coped.”  He didn’t phrase it as a question. After all, he’d done the very same thing before himself, with McKenna. 

“He’s so _good_ and normal. I thought… maybe if I was with him, I’d be normal too.”

“Does he know any of this? Are you at least talking to him?”

Her cheeks paled. “Oh, no. I couldn’t— I know its not a good idea to keep things from him but…”

“That’s not healthy to keep him in the dark, Felicity.”

She winced. “I know. And I know it’s not fair to him. And I know I was wrong not to tell you. I just… didn’t know how to deal with all of this. It got out of control, so quickly.”

“You _were_ wrong not to tell me. I could have helped you, Felicity. I could have been there for you.”

“I can’t ask that of you, Oliver. You’re busy with the team and the mayor’s office and—“

“Dammit, Felicity!” His frustration spiked, sending him to his feet. He whirled around, rubbing his hands over his face. “Don’t you understand that you’re important to me? That regardless of where we’re at right now, I care about you and that you are a priority? I always will want to be here for you!”

She looked small, where she sat in her chair, shrinking in on herself. She was back to avoiding his eyes. 

Taking a deep breath, Oliver knelt before her and took one of her hands in his. She didn’t pull away. “Felicity, look at me.” 

Biting her lip, she did so. Her eyes were red and moist and so full of pain. He wanted nothing more than to be able to soothe that for her. The way she’d always done for him. 

“Do you know how much you’ve helped me over the last four and a half years?” he asked her gently. 

She shook her head, paused, and then shrugged. 

“When I came back from the island, I was a shell of a man. But you drew me out of that shell. You were someone I could trust and confide in and who I never doubted was on my side. You’ve always wanted the best for me, Felicity, even when I didn’t want it for myself. You helped me understand that I deserved better from my life, and that I should fight for it. You helped me heal from all that pain I went through. You have no idea how much that means to me, how grateful I am that you never gave up on me. I’ve hurt you terribly but you’re still here, by my side, helping me be better.”

Her cheeks colored a little bit and her expression was softer. He took that as a sign that he was getting through to her. 

“Don’t you think that I would want to be able to do the same for you? I want to be there for you the way you’ve been there for me. I want to help you understand you deserve better and I want to help you out of this shell you’ve lost yourself in. Please, will you let me?”

Two tears slipped down her cheeks. “Oh, Oliver.”

“Please, Felicity. Let me help you.”

She nodded, a little jerkily. “Okay,” she whispered. 

Oliver moved quickly, getting to his feet and sweeping her up with him so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her close. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest and he continued to hold her, burying his face into the softness of her neck. He held her like that for a long time, until her heart resumed it’s normal pattern, until her tears no longer dampened his shoulder. 

Finally, he released her and she settled back on her feet, still gripping his arms for balance. “Thank you,” he told her. 

“Thank _you_. I am so sorry, Oliver, that I didn’t tell you about Billy and that I kept how I was feeling from you.”

“It’s okay, Felicity. I’m not judging. I know how it feels. I just want to help you.”

“So you don’t mind? That I’m dating again?” She bit at her lip, looking unsure.

Oliver hesitated. He didn’t want to lie to her but he also didn’t want her to think she had to protect him. “I’m not thrilled about it, no. I told you that you’re my always, Felicity. That’s still true. But I’m not angry with you.”

She looked visibly relieved. “You’re not?”

“No, of course not. If anything, this makes me want to fight for you.”

Now, she smiled. And it was perfect and beautiful.  He went on, “I want to show you that you can trust me again. But I’m not in any rush. You’re worth the wait.”

Felicity just nodded at him, still smiling a little. She didn’t say anything. Instead, she stepped away and he let her go. Baby steps, after all. She picked up her coffee and he did the same, following her as she moved towards her computers. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, at least for now, let’s discuss what we’re going to do about this rat, Susan Williams.”

Oliver grinned, feeling a weight lifted from his chest. He knew that helping Felicity heal would take time, but the best way he could help her with that is support her and guide her and show her that she deserves a happy life. He could do that. In the meantime, he knew that work was a good distraction for both of them and coming up with a plan for neutralizing Susan Williams was just the thing they both needed. 

“I’m going to run some searches on her, see if I can’t find a dusty skeleton or two in her closet. But in the meantime, I think your office needs to issue a statement.”

Oliver nodded. “I can get Thea to work on that,” he replied, slipping his phone from his pocket. 

Felicity turned around suddenly and pinned him with a look. “And you need to hire a press secretary or a PR consultant or _something_ because you need someone in that office who knows how to deal with nonsense like this.”

“You looking for a job?” he asked her, teasingly. 

Felicity scoffed. “As if. My version of dealing with it would be to destroy her credit rating and hit her with the team van.”

“Well, let’s not take those options off the table entirely,” he quipped. Felicity grinned at him and they both went to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry there wasn't more resolution re: Billy Bob McRebound or the reporter rat but.. this was never meant to be a really involved multi chapter story. More like a oneshot split into three parts. But thank you for reading it anyhow.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a second part written up for this and am thinking about writing a third. Let me know what you think.


End file.
